I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize