becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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