Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
