swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
