True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have grass duct taped all over my body
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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