D3 body, D1 cock
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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