I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
