I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
