Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
