So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
