So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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