Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
