I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
