you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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