It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
