My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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