You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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