When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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