I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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