So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
