The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
