I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
