I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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