we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
