He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
