Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
