My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
