when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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