Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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