At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize