Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He did a backflip because drugs
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
