i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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