what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
