matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
