hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
