I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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