if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
