FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
