oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
