Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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