I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize
