Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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