I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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