Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
