You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
