Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
