She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
