i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
