Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
