So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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