its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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