I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
