Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
