If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
