i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
