I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
