So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
