shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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