I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
