She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
