Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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