I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
