Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
