So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
NoShamevember. You game?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
