I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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