Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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