i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
