he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
